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that one chick with nothing (& everything) to say.
22 February 2011 @ 10:44 am
i believe that you need to do a cover of The Summer Set's song entitled "Chelsea" except with these lyrics instead of the original ones (changes in bold) :

Let's take this back two thousand five
Drinks are pouring, boys so fine
So many dimes, got dollars signs
And there he goes right on the spot
Got a taste so sweet I swear this beat
Will make you wanna drop

he wears skinny jeans everyday
No, he won't stop making the crowd scream
I can't hear anything, but hey, (hey)
It's mr. barrington again, again.

bilvy, bilvy, tell me you love me
bilvy, bilvy, are you feeling me now?
bilvy, bilvy, I think it's 'bout time
We get down, get down, I want more

I wrote him a song
Not brendon, not patrick

Had 'em both in my palm
But I dropped them for bilvy

Hey, hey, what'd you say
You've been looking good today
Let's go around town
I'll tell the girls that I'm taken

bilvy, bilvy, tell me you love me
bilvy, bilvy, are you feeling me now?
bilvy, bilvy, I think it's 'bout time
We get down, get down
There ain't no stopping us now
Get down, get down, I want more

And if it's worth your time, I've got ten digits
I'd like you to find
But no, I won't get that call
You've got so much to give
I've got nothing at all

bilvy, bilvy, tell me you love me
bilvy, bilvy, are you feeling me now?
bilvy, bilvy, I think it's 'bout time
We get down, get down
There ain't no stopping us now
Get down, get down, I want more

bilvy, bilvy, tell me you love me
bilvy, bilvy, are you feeling me now?
bilvy, bilvy, I think it's 'bout time
We get down, get down
There ain't no stopping us now

bilvy, bilvy, tell me you love me
bilvy, bilvy, are you feeling me now?
bilvy, bilvy, I think it's 'bout time
We get down, get down
There ain't no stopping us now
Get down, get down, I want more
 
 
that one chick with nothing (& everything) to say.
26 November 2010 @ 08:03 pm
she's a reacher
stretching and grasping
figners brushing everyone she wants.
she turns them into settlers
sighing and resolving to wait
until a better body comes through.

i'm a grand away from being half as beautiful as my soul.
looks are all that matters.
ignorance isn't bliss but it's all we have.

i may have a beautiful soul but i'd rather have the soul of a monster for a pretty face.

distance is all i have.

i'd rather have it fall apart now so my heart won't crack.
"natural drifting" is easier than breaking up.

you! the one taking my soulmate from under my nose.
she the fucking world to me.
you don't deserve her.
at all.
...
i'm the one who makes her cry though.

i'm the girl boys dream of.
their nightmares are never as terrifying until i'm smiling up, asking for a kiss.
freddie kruger has nothing on me.



apparently, neither does pete wentz. i only understand about 1/4 of that, and that's only because it's blatantly obvious where it comes from.
and just so there's no confusion, the girl who was my soulmate was my heterosexual soulmate. like the butcher and sisky.

but.

yeah.
 
 
that one chick with nothing (& everything) to say.
22 October 2010 @ 11:34 pm
so.  
so, i started this post about three hours ago. there was a long huge story about what went down but this is all you need to know.
that "soulmate"?
yeah, she chose her boyfriend and completely ended things with me.
now she's trying to do recon and i'm not buying it.
i guess the point of this post is that i learned from all this pain and anger i'm going though this evening.
i'mma do me.
from now on, it's all about me, no matter how selfish that is. it's about time that i put myself number one.
maybe when i'm comparing myself to myself, i'll love me a little more. :)
so, yeah.
i never knew that heartbreak could lead to something good. -shrugs-
 
 
that one chick with nothing (& everything) to say.
22 October 2010 @ 12:21 pm
so.  
so now that i feel a little better, i'm beginning to wondering if i have bipolar disorder. it's hard to explain what led me to this conclusion, but i've been feeling like i have it (because i have quite a few symptoms) and i think that it's time to get tested. so i'm going to.
now it's just figuring out how i can pay for the eventual meds.
-sigh-
Tags: ,
 
 
that one chick with nothing (& everything) to say.
21 October 2010 @ 07:57 am
so.  
what are you supposed to do when the person who's your soulmate - the person who completes you in every way, shape and form - is also the one who makes you think that you will never be as good as her.
she doesn't do it intentionally but i hate myself when she's around. every part of me hates that i'll never be as pretty as her or as skinny as her or anything that makes her attractive.
when we stand next to each other, all eyes are drawn to her, to avoid the hideousness that is me.
and i hate that. i hate that everyone's comparing us and assuming we're friends out of pity.
because that's what i think. she's only friends with me because it's convenient.
but now she's moving on - she's got a boyfriend - and i'm going to be put on the backburner.
i've always been second on her list of important people - i don't know how i'll be able to handle being third.
she keeps saying things like "that'll never happen" or - when i bring up that he's eventually going to make her choose between us, "then he's a boyfriend that i don't want."
everyone chooses their boyfriend.
no one chooses their friends.
especially when their a friend like me.
she was the only thing stopping me from ending myself. now that i don't have her.
i don't think i'll live to see 19.
the most fucked up thing about that?
i don't even give a fuck.
 
 
 
that one chick with nothing (& everything) to say.
09 October 2010 @ 11:47 pm
i hate myself on such a deep level that it's disgusting.
and because of this self-loathing, i'm afraid to let my best friend meet new people.
because she's one of those "pretty" girls. the ones that are only friends with other "pretty" girls and i'm just waiting for her to see that and leave me in the dust.
she's meeting a "friend" of ours roommate later this week. i don't know when...tomorrow? but she asked if i wanted to come with. i replied with "i wasn't invited." as she was walking out my door, i asked "what did cass say?" and she got this look of utter heartbreak on her face and said "she didn't want you to come."
i fully believe that cass is only friends with me because i go to shows with her. she doesn't actually like me.
she's puts up with my stories with looks of boredom.
she's implied that i was ugly.
she acts like she's only putting up with me.
she's one of those "pretty" thin girls that are only friends with other "pretty" thin girls.
i'm neither of those.
i'm waiting for 'trick to pack up all her things and leave me behind, realizing what everyone else already knows.
i'm not worth it.
and the thing is?
my heart is actually fucking breaking and i'm tearing up right now.
i'm tired of being the hated one: i'm tried of being hated on because i'm not thin or pretty or shit like that.
sometimes it's all too much and i just.
i can't do this anymore.
i can't handle this yo-yoing. i want to either be cast to the side like yesterday's newspaper or be held like a child's teddy bear.
i can't handle not knowing how long people are going to be around.
even though i know they're only going to be around as long as i'm convenient.
...
...
when will i stop being convenient?
 
 
that one chick with nothing (& everything) to say.
27 September 2010 @ 11:43 am
GO AWAY!
i cannot concentrate on the paper that is due tomorrow for writing when you give me such lovely ideas to work with.
i also cannot finish the agnsty nalex pr0n and petrick gmh while you give me lovely ideas of loveliness.
in conclusion, go away.
kthxbai.
...
...
...
i love you anon_lovefest. ignore me words of falseness for they are false.
 
 
that one chick with nothing (& everything) to say.
23 September 2010 @ 03:18 pm
so, a couple days fourtysteps said something to me and it had been bothering me for a few days. so i looked up some nalex and i could hardly find a damn thing! other than a huge fic or two that i need to read - where they're not even the main pairing - i haven't found a decent nalex.
(that's not knocking the author's of the fics i read; there's been, like, two and they were both nicely written.)
so i a) need some nalex hardcore because if i'm going to b) write some, i need to do some reading to see how they're portrayed. via suarez's request, i'm trying not to make him a chick. but then i can't make nate a chick either and i...
i would feel more comfortable writing them if i read a few fics first.
so would anyone like to give me a few recs.
i am dying to explicitly write this couple. i've written them in the background, which is a very simple thing to do - let me tell you - but i want to write them as the focus. i already have an idea or three and i really need a few recs so i can get them down.
they're like the new gabilliam for me. i want to be the very best writer out there because of the lack of painfully good fic.
(there's some amazing gabilliam fic out there and then there's some where you wonder to yourself "who the hell gave this person a keyboard?" the truth, it hurts kids.)
so anyway!
nalex recs. i want some.
that's the whole point of this post.
kthxbai.
 
 
that one chick with nothing (& everything) to say.
31 August 2010 @ 01:00 pm
hai!
last night i tweeted this:

oh so happy

i've tweeted at several celebrities before; never got an answer. naturally, i was not expecting this...


pete's tweet @ me
then i sorta felt like a bitch. *pouts*
BUT!
i was so happy.
it was just another tweet to him.
my life was completely made.
if i die in a car crash on the way home from class today, i will be content with it.
:)
-sigh-
i don't think he realizes how much he impacts people.
i love him because i feel like him.
 
 
that one chick with nothing (& everything) to say.
31 July 2010 @ 09:01 pm
so i'm officially breaking my habit of starting my titles with "i love me some..." and that sorta makes me sad...
oh well.
anyway!
i'm drowning in fic idea that just won't leave me be. -sigh-

i have the epic hey sunshine, which i should really suck it up and forge on with the "withdrawal" chapter.

then i have a Dead Like Me AU that i'm working on. i was watching an ep. and suddenly a really sad PxP scene came in my head and it ballooned into a huge big bang and it's awesome and ridiculous at the same time. it's sorta an experience for me because it's in present tense and is exploring a new couple for me: brendon/spencer. my fingers are the ones who write the stories and when i was plotting my fingers wrote: "Dead Like Me AU. Pete/Patrick, Gabe/William, Brendon/Spencer." i did backspace for a minute and decided that i was going to do it because one, it works in the context of the story and two, it's about time i branch out from my strict otps i usually work with. plus, they're cute.

then there's a new one i got today while i was watching The Proposal. yeah, i'm a sucker for reading "marriage of convince" fics and it's about time i wrote one for myself. it's a joncer, because they're my panic! otp. and it's probably going to end up being a big bang too because as mush as i love a cute little standalone, i love long fics even more. oy.

i suppose it's a good thing that i have no semblance of a life at all.


also, a full recap of warped 2010 is coming. soon. promise. when i'm not sick with a sunburn. my forehead hurts so bad and don't even get me started on my shoulders. -shakes head-